Farewell to a Friend

Aaron has recognized for a while that one or the other of our cars would probably not make it through the year. We’ve been planning and saving accordingly. In the past month we’ve actually considered selling my car now, since it has greater resale value, and we could keep saving and looking for a reliable long term family car. That would mean me shifting over to use Aaron’s ’96 Ford Contour as our family car. To be honest, I wasn’t thrilled with the idea of driving it. Naturally, I am used to my own car, not to mention that I like feeling sporty as I drive my Honda. On a more practical level, it is a tighter fit to get the car seats into the Ford. Another valid problem with Aaron’s car is that the head on the floor shift is broken. You have to have it aligned just right to be able to put it into drive, and even then the indicator says you’re in reverse. On really cold days this winter we couldn’t get it to shift into park. Aaron looked on-line a couple of weeks ago to see if there were some suggestions on how to fix it, and he discovered there had been a recall on it in 1998!

We wondered if Ford would still replace something recalled so long ago, and we wondered if we wanted to go through the hassle. Meanwhile, we noticed a leak coming from Aaron’s car last week. Combining our vast knowledge of mechanics, we looked at each other and mutually agreed, “This does not look good.” However, it turns out that the car had even bigger problems than we or the car shop realized. I’ll explain in my best understanding of car lingo: Once they fixed the crack in the hose, it caused pressure build up where there were already other problems in the engine, and it blew a head gasket. When given the estimate to fix that problem, Aaron flatly said, “My car isn’t worth that much.”

So Aaron’s car is no more. We feel okay about that turn of events and the options that leaves us. We have been talking for a long time that it would be convenient to have a truck, and Aaron is always checking out car lots as we drive by. He will drive his dad’s truck until we find something to fit our needs and budget. His only grudge is that the Ford still had decent tires—my only grudge is that it probably had at least half a tank of gas!

And yet, I am surprised to feel a little sadness to actually say goodbye to the Ford. Aaron’s only remark of emotion as he cleaned it out was, “It was a good car that lasted a long time.” I don’t think he even had a name for it. Given his lack of nostalgia, I’ll have to fill in for him, since I do form attachments to cars. As I think about it, I can see that it is because that old red car represents the guy I fell in love with. Aaron had the car for more than ten years, and its identity was formed by his years as a college student and single guy.

When we first started dating, Aaron introduced his car to me by calling it a truck. Despite that it was a four door sedan, he hauled everything he could in it, even if that meant 2x4’s poking out the side windows. He also treated it like a truck, throwing tools in the back seat and not worrying if sawdust or mud got on the upholstery. (If you’re wondering, there wasn’t room for tools in the trunk because it was generally occupied with golf clubs ready to hit the range at a moment’s notice).

I see a lot of red Ford Contours around town, but his had special markings that helped me recognize it, like the dent on the center of the trunk. He explains that while building his house he was painting the doors standing up in the garage. One tipped over and hit his car. To me that just adds more charm to identify the car and remind me of its owner’s other interests. I’m pretty sure that while we were dating I’d scan the church parking lot for the red car with those familiar markings and would thrill to know Aaron was close by.

We went on lots of dates in that car. It wasn’t anything extraordinary, but he wasn’t trying to impress me by what he drove. He prefers to drive a car that you don’t have to worry about an occasional ding and that isn’t worth someone breaking in to steal anything. And he said if he came across someone who needed it more than he did, he would be fine giving it away. Given the quirks that I’ve already mentioned, it’s obvious I didn’t date him for the kind of car he drove. But considering he is as unpretentious as his vehicle, I guess I can say that I really did.

Perhaps one drive Aaron will always remember is a snowy evening in December. He had come to Idaho to visit me and meet some family for a few days over Christmas break. We had sat on the couch talking all afternoon, and it was starting to get dark. He really needed to be getting back home to work that evening, but we still lingered. Finally, I walked out with him to say goodbye. He made a bold move and leaned in to give me a kiss. I saw it coming but must have panicked and turned my head, so it just ended up as a peck on the cheek. Still, he said the ride home just flew by and his tires hardly touched the road..

My heart will still jump with excitement (and relief if it’s been a long day) when I see Aaron pull into the driveway, no matter what car he is driving. But that red Ford was a personification of the man behind the wheel. It was part of him before I knew him. They came into my life as partners, and no other car will have the personality of the man I met and married.