Meet Our Family

Here’s the most recent portrait of our family. One day during coloring time Natalie asked me to draw Mom, followed by Dad and everyone else in the family. I did a quick sketch, leaving the faces blank so she could color them in. I don’t remember whose idea it was to cut them out, but suddenly they became more than just pictures to color. They were paper dolls, and Natalie proceeded ordering me to draw them beds (which she colored to correspond with their clothes), a living room and kitchen and a car. The paper house must not have met with her approval because she has not used it much. But she does use the dolls with more three-dimensional toys. If I had known they going to be used more than one afternoon I would have put more effort into my drawings (if possible) and made them more durable. Some of them are practically laminated with Scotch tape because they have been played with so much.

I love listening to Natalie play with her little family. It is so natural for her to remember Merideth any time we discuss family. I try not to coach her because I want to see what she remembers and understands. It has been especially fun to hear her give Merideth and Christian voices as real characters in her play world.

Meanwhile, Christian enjoys looking at this portrait of our family. He smiles as he recognizes Mom and Dad and Natalie.I will forever deal with the conundrum when I meet someone new and they ask, “How many children do you have?” At first it felt very urgent to blurt out that I had a baby who had died. As time passes, I have learned to read the situation more selectively and recognize times when all that I need to say is “two” and other times when I feel like sharing more. And there are times when I look back on a conversation and wish I had shared more or less.

However, this painting provides its own challenge. Its size and placement in our home attracts attention as people come in the door. As strangers or unknowing acquaintances look at it, it demands an explanation when they distinctly see a baby girl in the picture yet a baby boy in my arms. It made sense to tell the neighbor girls, “That’s Natalie and Christian’s sister,” but at other times I am at a loss to know where to begin. I am proud of the painting and proud to acknowledge Merideth as part of our family. It is just a challenge to know where and how to begin with an explanation. It is not as easy for me to start a dialog about Merideth as it is natural for Natalie to include her in play.