The Learner in Me

I am a mother. I am also a teacher, and for me, that means I am a learner. Though nurturing my family is my priority, it is important to me to keep my teaching license current. That means I need to attend workshops, conferences and college classes to earn a certain number of points within five years. I have had a few opportunities recently to attend some events to help me earn credit.

The first event was a workshop presented by an author/illustrator, Susan L. Roth, who shared her technique of using collage for illustrating and then gave us an opportunity to practice it ourselves. The second event was a state-wide conference for language teachers (I taught Spanish for 8 years before Natalie was born). Both were wonderful opportunities to brush up on teaching techniques but also to learn about myself.

In the art class the student in me experienced cognitive dissonance as I stared at a task—an art project—that seemed overwhelming and beyond my abilities. I didn’t know where to start and I felt insecure about my efforts in something I have little experience with. It gave an opportunity for the teacher in me to feel empathy at being a student again and understand what it means to attempt something new. It reminded me the importance of providing a safe environment in which students feel comfortable enough to take a risk.

As I attended the language conference on an unfamiliar campus, the student in me felt all alone like on the first day of school. I wasn’t sure where I was going, and I didn’t have any colleagues to talk to or to sit by in the workshops. The student in me groaned when the presenter suggested we “turn to our neighbor” and share our opinion of what she had just said because I didn’t want to get out of my comfort zone. But the student in me beamed when the presenter said exactly what I was thinking, even though I was too shy to volunteer my answer. And at other times the teacher in me forced myself to raise my hand and ask a question because personal experience gave me authority to speak or compelled me to find out how others handled the same situation.

The student in me smiled to be on a college campus with a spirit of learning, and the teacher in me thrilled to hear familiar terms such as “comprehensible input” and “student engagement,” not only to understand the jargon but to be in agreement with what was being said. Having taken a few years off of teaching, the teacher in me was alert to new approaches to old practices, and I have been able to take a step back and evaluate things I would do differently the next time I teach. The teacher in me felt satisfaction to see that I do many effective things and that I am a good teacher but also recognized I am by no means an amazing teacher—that belongs to the presenters who speak with such zeal and passion on their subjects they can hardly contain themselves. There was a definite buzz of excitement as teachers bumped into old acquaintances who see each other regularly at these professional events or as total strangers shared their thoughts on the workshop they had just attended together. The teacher in me used to take this energy for granted, but having been away from that environment for a while, I now discovered the feeling was contagious and felt the enthusiasm more acutely.

The teacher in me was thrilled to see a former student teacher and other university students I had mentored. They are now excitedly learning new things in their own career on which I perhaps had a small influence.

Shamefully, the student in me talked all during lunch instead of listening to the keynote speaker. The teacher in me is truly appalled by that behavior, but she also rationalizes that most of it was valid conversation about the conference and catching up with a friend about Merideth and sharing pictures of my sweetheart.

At the end of the conference, the teacher in me felt gratitude for a sense of belonging. I am part of a teacher community, much like the feeling of an instant bond when I meet someone in the heart community because we have something in common

The teacher in me felt fulfilled at what I was able to learn and discuss in this one day conference, but the mom in me looked forward to being home. I am sure that my mothering style is influenced by my background in education, but regardless of the formal training, I find delight as a mother in watching Natalie learn to do simple tasks and grow spiritually from the things her parents have taught her. I feel like I do many things well as a parent, but I hope I can be an even more effective mom by improving the teacher in me.